I don't know how to deal with my life.

http://my.clevelandclinic.org/disorders/Back_Pain/hic_Psychological_Factors_of_Chronic_Back_Pain.aspx

Interpersonal support

It is natural for others to become frustrated with a person's chronic pain. Endless complaints and irritations naturally drive away others, especially those who feel their efforts at support are not appreciated. Therefore, the chronic pain patient must make special efforts to foster and maintain their social supports by expressing gratitude and flexibility whenever possible. Caregivers must be wary not to become frustrated at their patients' lack of progress and to respect pain patients as important individuals.

I feel awful about everything. Maybe not everything. But at least me. I feel awful about me.

Sometimes it hurts enough to cry, and other times I just can't stop crying. This can't be fucking normal, right?

Introduction

I am a 21-year-old college student, and I've been living with chronic pain since I was 14. Recently it's moved beyond a problem's with an identifiable source to an acute, lingering pain in my knees that is probably, at this point, going to be diagnosed as arthritis. I've been searching for a blog that chronicles the life or a person my age who is dealing with similar problems and come up short, so this is my little contribution to the internet. It's called squeeze--box because other iterations of squeezebox were full, and also because I've just started playing the accordion with my, well, chronically painful hands. So there you go.